I heard this recently, and it hit me like a train. I feel exactly like this.
Time doesn’t heal the pain and the hurt, the nights just get longer. I’m completely and utterly dead inside. I feel nothing at all.
You being gone is the most horrific thing that has ever happened to me.
But I’d much rather me miss you, than you miss me. You couldn’t cope with that, and I’m not actually sure I will, but I stand a much better chance of working through you dying than you trying to deal with me being dead.
I know you wouldn’t be able to. In fact, I’d know you’d be joining me. Am I thankful for that? Am I fuck. I need to be by your side. My life has no meaning outside of that.